Will I Ever Understand it All?

I wish my Sam could talk. I have quite a few questions for the little guy that I would like answers to. Most notably would the be the answer to the question I ask him about ten times a day. Are you really choking, Sam? I wish my Sam could talk. I would tell him about a little story called, The Boy Who Cried Wolf. I wonder if my Sam could talk, would he get the point I'm trying to make with that particular story?

And Sam, while we're at it, what IS it about the remote control? Does it taste like chocolate?

Why do you insist on chewing on your high chair with a mouthful of Oatmeal and Bananas? Am I not doing enough cleaning?

What is the appeal of flipping over on your changing table while I'm trying to change your diaper? When have we ever taken off a dirty diaper and not put a clean one back on?

Why do some people make you cry while others make you bat those baby blues? Are they promising you money? Extra bottles?

Who do you think I'm making the bottle for when you're pitching a fit on the kitchen floor. No one else here drinks
formula.

What is so funny?

Are you really that mad that I won't let you have my camera to chew on? Is this the hill you want to die for?

Why do you insist on putting all of the finger puffs in your mouth at once? Does someone come and steal them when I'm not looking?

Why do you chew on your sippy cup instead of drinking out of it? Do you realize the pressure I'm under at the pediatrician to tell her that you've mastered that?

I also wish, sometimes, I could read those thoughts he must have. The ones that probably say things like, "When mommy turns her head, I'm heading straight for the vaccuum cleaner again...that's where I hid the secret plans to the X300G Black Wing Speed Fighter Turbo Jet which will change the way we fly forever." and of course, "Why does mommy keep making that face and saying, ba? Sometimes her intellectually inept way of communicating with me is vexing." Ah, kids - they think the darndest things.

Later, gotta go read a little mind now.
Sam's mommy

3 comments

Zog mom said...

Obviously, Sam attended the same baby school that Will did. They must have excelled in "How to scream for your life while your bottle is being prepared." I often say to him too: "who do you think this is for? Have I ever shown this to you and not given it to you?!?!" Let me know if you get any answers out of Sam :)

harmstrong said...

Dear Sam,
They are all crazy. Moms, that is. Mine continues to blow raspberries at me but when I do it to strangers she gives me a look like I'm the one that's crazy. Who is the adult here? I don't think it's very hard to understand us babies. When I scream, I need a diaper change. When I scream, I am hungry. When I scream, I am tired. Is that so difficult?

I feel your pain.

Sincerey,
Shane

Anonymous said...

I tell ya i think that never changes. Andunte is 8 going on 9 years old and i have become accustomed to ANTICIPATING his new-found way of expressing himself. He went through a phase for about two years to where he was always in a "headstand" position. Watching tv, playing B-ball, you name it. It's hard to explain to a kid about blood rushing to their head from doing headstands continuously without it sounding like an intriguing science experiment, which turns into a MUSTDO for him the next time im not looking. KIDS HAVE NO FEAR!!!