It Sounded So Easy...

"Oh, just take a wet cloth and rub his teeth after every meal. That's good enough for now. No need for a toothbrush at this stage." My hygenist made this suggestion and at the time, I was fooled into thinking she had just made something easier in my life. I tried it. It wasn't easier. Here's what she should have told me.

How to brush a one year old's teeth.

1. First, you have to catch the little sucker. He might be in your pantry shaking macaroni and cheese or in the den pulling on your landlord's blinds or standing in the hallway chewing with no food in sight. Sneak up and grab him. If you make a game out of it, he will either outrun you or fall and get a concussion. The latter will put you in the hospital for hours and then you will lose all desire to brush teeth he is going to lose anyway.

2. Once caught, sit him in between your legs on the floor and wrap your legs around his lower body so he can't escape. He will cry. He might escape and threaten to call Social Services...he's bluffing. Don't fall for it.

3. Pull his head back to one side of your body (away from teeth brushing hand) and secure head with a thumb tack (kidding, you might have to put your elbow on his forehead, though - don't worry, the bruising will heal)

4. Wrap non brushing hand underneath chin and squeeze (Mama Fratelli-style - Goonies).

5. Skip the cloth and toothbrush and go for a small bristled toilet brush (new of course). Pry open mouth and swish toilet brush around once or twice.

6. Repeat three times a day until he's 4.

7. Don't do any of the above steps in front of non-parents - they truly won't understand.

8. Don't actually do any of the above steps.

9. Instead, half-heartedly stick a toothbrush in his mouth, the two to three times a week you actually remember to brush his teeth, while he's in the bathtub and swish around while he wiggles out of your grasp. Pull toothbrush out once you realize it's not worth him drowning over. Say a little prayer that his teeth won't rot and fall out. Switch Dentists.

Sam's Mom

Baby Signing Time!

Since Sam was 6 months old, I have signed the word "mom" to him. I have said it, I have signed it, I have pointed to myself. He has responded with laughing hysterically, blowing banana filled raspberries and ignoring me completely. I don't want him to sign exclusively...I'm not asking the kid to do the entire alphabet. Just one significant sign for "mom". I ask you, does this sound hard? I didn't think so either.

My sister gave Sam two signing videos when he was born. We have tried to watch them consistently, tried to use a little bit of sign when we explain what things are. I'd heard stories of kids repeating the signs at ridiculously early ages and thought this would surely be the case for Sam. By the way, signing is a big deal in this family. He will need to learn it at some point. I foolishly thought the sign you do the most would be the sign a child would learn first and early. So imagine my frustration earlier this week when, after 9 months of religiously signing the word "mom" any chance I got, my son learns the sign for "cookie" in the span of ten seconds.

Excuse me if I am a little insulted that a Teddy Graham got top billing over the woman that grew him.

My favorite things...

I really wish I could drink Dunkin' Donuts coffee all day. In fact, while I know the streets of heaven will be paved with gold, I hope those streets are lined with free coffee shops that have no pamphlets listing nutritional information stacked on the counter.

When I feel guilty about my caffeine consumption for the day (or let's face it, when the fifth person in my office has told me to calm down) and right around the 3pm hour when I feel my forehead heading toward the keyboard or my face in the hands - looking like I'm reading but I'm really sleeping position isn't working...this is heaven in a cup. It smells like a cruise and tastes even better! Just thought I'd share. In my office, we've been known to have herbal tea competitions...who can get the best flavors. The Acai Mango Zinger is new and my new favorite. Celestial Seasonings gets no money for this blog endorsement (that I can only be sure my mother and mother-in-law are reading since the blog is about their grandson). I also hope they don't mind I used their picture. :0)

I'm not an expert, but...

I'm pretty sure that the leading cause of second pregnancies is watching videos like this. The reason? This video doesn't show swelling, or weight gain, or stretch marks. It conveniently leaves out the fact that you can't give birth with your underwear on and that the only method of transportation towards month 8 is hobbling. It doesn't recall the ninth month when you went to the bathroom 12 times during a two hour movie or the Thanksgiving you spent trying to diagnose and treat a gassy baby. Nope, just simple sweet baby coos and looks. A smaller version of the wild man that currently runs up and down your hall screaming "Tickey, tickey" and chucking your mascara in the toilet. But oh...that little one. Lean in with me. Oh, just do it! Now breathe in deeply through your nose. Can you smell the sweet newness of his little head? So this is what amnesia feels like.

Teething: The New El Nino!

I have spent the last ten months blaming everything on teething. It has been my answer to all questions and problems. Why is Samuel cranky? Teething. Why won't he eat dinner? Teething. Why did he just throw his toy car in the toilet? Teething. Why are my jeans feeling snug? Teething. By my calculations, he should have about sixty three teeth by now. He doesn't. He is just now starting to show off tooth number 7 and 8.

People are always telling me that I don't have to have an answer for every little cry, whimper and sleepless night. "The minute you figure out what's wrong, he'll be onto something else," my mother always says. It gives me peace to know that this too shall pass, but the need to diagnose everything is one of my mommy impulses and I can't help but replay days and weeks at a time to solve the mystery of what's bothering Sam at this very moment. Which is fruitless given that at this stage in the game, whatever it is better be cured with infant tylenol or a humidifier because that's all I can give him. This afternoon, my sweet boy was really cranky and I thought to myself, "It's definitely his teeth." Come to find out that I had put his shoes on the wrong feet and they were hurting him. At least I'm guessing that was what was hurting him...oh I don't know, here's your humidifier and bedtime bunny. Let's talk about it in the morning.

So I took my first significant trip away from my family last week. I spent a week in DC for work and it was homesick city for me. I stayed quite busy the first few days, but Thursday and Friday seemed to drag on forever. I played all these magnificent scenerios of the Binky greeting me when I arrived home with a huge smile and screaming "MOMMY" not "DOG" as he ran across the room to jump into my arms. Oh wait, he's my one year old, not the last scene of "Some Kind of Wonderful". What was I thinking? I got the smile I was hoping for, but as for the running, screaming and hugging...well, his grandfather got those as he smiled at me, spun around and ran to his Papa so they could sing Old McDonald some more. Emotional, I know. Gets you right here (pointing at my heart). I settled for hearing some of his contagious laughter and listening intently as he sang "IEIEIE" (as in EIEI-O). It's good to be it's GREAT to be home. I missed that little guy.

While in Washington, I got to meet up with a fellow mommy friend of mine, Cool Cat Shaney Shane's mom. It was a blast to spend some time with a girlfriend and someone who's baby is at the same stage as mine (the boys are 2 1/2 weeks apart). I sometimes text her to see what she's doing with her kid. I ask questions like, "Does Shane eat chicken nuggets yet?" "Are diaper changes getting any easier?" and of course "Are wipe baths okay some nights?" I like her answers. Laid back and not necessarily by the book. I think she's a great mom.

We went out on the town, two desperate mommy working housewives with no agenda and no curfew. We were desperately trying to ignore the fact that we were yawning at 8:30PM and secretly dreaming about our pajama pants and footies awaiting us at home and the hotel. After dinner, we wandered over to one of her favorite stores. We browsed around looking, not buying (we are both a little on the frugal side) and found our way to a bin of $10 purses. Looking back now, I find the fact that we debated over whether or not we needed the $10 purses for a good fifteen minutes a little amusing, given that we both had dropped around $30-$40 on our boys at the Hard Rock Cafe gift shop without batting an eye. My how mommyhood changes your priorities. We finally agreed that we, in fact, needed $10 red purses and made the purchases. The night flew by, even as we sipped coffee at the sketchy Dunkin' Donuts and compared mommy notes. Having that night out made my trip away from my boys a little easier.

Thanks for the fun time, Thirty.

Love, Peach