This is a Test. This is Only a Test.

Do not panic. This is only a test. Failing this test, however, could result in the raising of a child into a man who throws his stapler at his boss when he doesn't get his way. It could mean that when a waiter asks if your adult son wants vegetables with his steak at an important dinner he will scrunch up his nose and scream "No Way!" Worse yet, he could spend his entire life consuming nothing but bananas, Kit Kats and chocolate milk. But don't panic. It's just a test.

Discipline. Consistency. Tired, working parent. Genius two year old. This kid is good. He gets it. I think when he runs away from me while I'm trying to get him into the car screaming, "Jesus is Alive," he knows how conflicted I am. Yes indeed, Samuel, Jesus is alive. It's wonderful. Jesus wants you to get in the car...he told me. So did Santa and the Kit Kat fairy.

Of course, you have to give props to the, "I'm not ready to go to bed" Oscar winning performance. How do they cry crocodile tears so big? My favorite these days is a response to the phrase, "Samuel, you are driving me crazy." He immediately stops whatever he is doing, smiles up at me and says, "Okay Mama...I love you. I'm coming."

I have to admit...I wish I could manipulate people like that.

Most of all, I have to admit, I finally get what my mother was trying to communicate when she would say, "Rachel, I could pinch your head off right now." Yes indeed mom.

To that two year old genius at life I say, I love you, I discipline you because I love you...and one day I pray you are blessed with a pair of big blue eyes of your own who will put you to the test.

And, PS, stop screaming, "The Bible tells me so," when I'm trying to get the Sharpie away from you. The Bible doesn't even mention open-capped markers.

1 comment

Whitney Rodes said...

HA! I am right there with you... only I am failing my test. The score is: Toddler: 598, Mom: 0.