There is Nothing Wrong with Lying to Your Children

This weekend I was hit with a barrage of unanswerable questions from my son.  I know this is kind of what you sign up for when you decide to become a parent, but somehow I just wasn't prepared and didn't know how to answer some of these questions...and when I did...he didn't always accept my answer. So I did what every responsible parent does...I started making crap up...because that is good parenting.

Sam: Mom, what does the letter "R" start with?

Me: Um..."R"

Sam: No but what does it start with "R"rrrrr..."R" (He has started sounding things out slowly for me when I don't seem to "understand" him.  It's been a charming addition to an already lethal arsenal of unintentional sarcasm - but look at his parents)

Me:  Sam...the letter "R" is a letter so it starts and ends with an "R"

Sam: UUUUGGGGHHHH.  Mom, but WHAT does it start with.

Me: (thinking) What is on 2nd base. 

But instead I say: Look is that Batman?

Sam: Where?

Me: Over have to look real hard and not ask questions and maybe you'll see him.

Sam: Mom, What are pumpkins made out of?

Me: Pumpkins are made out of pumpkin.  

Sam: NO MOM....what are they made out of? 

Me: I'm not lying to you...they are made out of pumpkin.  They grow in a garden.

Sam: They grow in a garden?  But what are they MADE OUT OF???

Me: (exhale in exasperation) Um...Orange candy and happy thoughts.

Sam: (pause then sarcastically) Really mom? Really?  

(Driving by a cemetery)

Sam: What's that mom?

Me: It's a cemetery.

Sam: What's a cemetery?

Me:'s's like a garden.

Sam: Like a garden? Like where pumpkins are? 

Me: Yep, it's like a very old...very dead pumpkin garden...without any pumpkins.

Sam: Oh. 


Funny that he totally accepted the cemetery explanation! Kids.

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