Speaking of Moms...


So I just accepted my mother as a friend on Facebook. I'm amazed. I think my sister put her up to it. The other day she asked me how you can write things on the wall, and then write things behind the wall. Welcome to Facebook, mom. It's guaranteed to distract you from work, make you stay up too late and its, yet again, one more username and password you have to remember.

I was talking to a soon-to-be first time mom over email the other day and I shared with her something my mom said to me many times in the first few months of being a new mom. Plagued with insomnia and forcing myself to find the "inner maternal crystal ball" that I thought would fill me with instincts galore often left me frustrated, emotional and angry with myself. On more than one occasion I would find myself crying in one room of the house or another saying, "I don't know what I'm doing. I've never been a mother before." You see, I mistakenly thought I would have a baby and no questions. I would just know. (I'm holding my hands out, palms up pointer fingers and thumbs touching in the zen like fashion as I channel the mother wisdom in my soul). I didn't just know. Rarely do first time moms just know. If they just know...they are lying. Now I'm not talking about the "I just know he's sick." or the "I just know that fill-in-the-blank is not good for him." I'm talking about "It's day two home from the hospital and you actually think if you don't wake your baby up at hour three that he might starve to death." Moms, don't lie. You thought a bottle fifteen minutes late or crying that went on longer than 45 seconds warranted a trip the emergency room. I remember at five days old, when I guess the epidural wore off, Sam cried on and off all day. I remember looking at Andy baffled as he suggested we go to the hospital. What were we going to tell them? Our baby is crying? Is there a prescription for that? Maybe your first time mom thoughts weren't that. Maybe it was something else. But I'm sure all first time moms had a first time mom thought.

So back to my point. At my lowest times. At those moments when I felt like being an astronaut or a physicist might be easier than being a mom. When I would say, "I don't know what I'm doing, I've never been a mother before." My mom would grab my hand, look me in the eye and say, "That's okay...he's never been a baby before, and he thinks your doing a great job. And so do I."
Some days, only another mother can truly make you feel better.

So to my mother, who's now on Facebook, I love you and thanks. I think I'm getting the hang of this motherhood thing.
Your daughter and Sam's mom,

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